Black Friday is more than just a shopping event—it’s an institution. If you run a business, it’s treated like a litmus test of your seriousness as an entrepreneur. The pressure to participate is immense, and the message is clear: You should be running sales. You should be planning campaigns. You should be cashing in.
For years, I believed that message. I scrambled to create last-minute deals, pushed myself to market products, and tried to match the energy of other entrepreneurs who seemed to thrive on the chaos. But instead of feeling successful, I always ended up anxious, overwhelmed, and questioning if I was even cut out for this.
This year, I’ve decided to step away from Black Friday entirely. It’s a choice that feels both freeing and uncomfortable. On one hand, I know it aligns with my values. On the other, it forces me to confront feelings of failure and inadequacy that are deeply tied to the season.
Let me tell you why I’m sitting this one out—and what I’ve learned along the way.
The Weight of Expectations: Why Black Friday Feels So Heavy
Black Friday has always been complicated for me. Even before I started my business, my experiences working in retail planted seeds of anxiety around this time of year. I spent years working at H&M, and if you’ve ever stepped foot in a New York City store on Black Friday, you know it’s chaos. Fitting room lines that snake through the store, customers demanding discounts on items already marked down, and managers scrambling to maintain control.
Those experiences shaped how I see the holiday season. Instead of excitement, I associate it with stress, exhaustion, and the feeling that no matter how much you prepare, it’s never enough. And as an entrepreneur, that pressure only grew.
I remember launching my business in November one year, naively thinking that Black Friday would be the perfect time to announce myself to the world. I had no plan, no audience, and no idea what I was doing.
The result?
A complete disaster. I felt like I had failed before I’d even begun. Looking back, I can see that my expectations were unrealistic. I thought Black Friday would be a magical turning point for my business, but instead, it was a harsh introduction to how competitive and unforgiving the marketplace can be.
The Villain in the Room: Fear and Shame Marketing
One of the reasons Black Friday feels so heavy is the way it’s marketed—not just to consumers, but to entrepreneurs. If you’ve spent any time on social media leading up to the holidays, you’ve probably seen posts like:
“What do you mean you don’t have a Black Friday strategy yet?”
“You’re leaving money on the table if you don’t participate!”
“It’s October, and you’re still figuring out your deals?”
These messages aren’t just about urgency—they’re about shame. They make you feel like you’re failing if you’re not ready to perform. And as someone who’s deeply invested in their business, it’s easy to internalize that. Every year, I’d find myself rushing to put together something—anything—just to feel like I was keeping up. But the truth is, those campaigns rarely felt authentic or aligned with my values.
Overconsumption and My Complicated Relationship With It
Another reason I’ve struggled with Black Friday is the culture of overconsumption it promotes. Everywhere you turn, there’s a push to buy more, consume more, and stockpile deals you might not even need. As a business owner, I’ve been both a participant and a critic of this cycle, and I’ll be honest: it’s complicated.
While I don’t love the idea of feeding into overconsumption, I’ve also been guilty of it. I’ve felt the thrill of snagging a deal and the pressure to make my own products stand out in a sea of discounts. The reality is, I’m not immune to the system, and I don’t think any of us are. What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to hold these conflicting feelings. You can critique a system while acknowledging how it affects you—and that’s a big part of why I’ve chosen to step back this year.
A Success Story That Taught Me to Trust My Values
One of my most meaningful Black Friday experiences came in 2021, when I created the Soul Care Box in collaboration with two entrepreneur friends. This wasn’t a typical Black Friday deal—it was a labor of love, designed to bring comfort and connection during the colder months.
The box included:
My Soul Care Journal, which I created to help people process their feelings and take intentional action.
A custom candle made by one of my friends, who crafted a scent that perfectly captured the warmth I wanted the box to evoke.
Specialty teas from another friend’s business, paired with a beautiful mug.
Handwritten notes for each customer, personalized with encouragement and care.
We didn’t rely on ads or flashy campaigns. Instead, we focused on storytelling and bringing people into the process. From September to Black Friday, I documented the journey—sharing behind-the-scenes moments, collaborating on product ideas, and building excitement around what we were creating.
By early December, we had sold out of 25 boxes. While it wasn’t a huge number by traditional Black Friday standards, it felt like a triumph. The box resonated with people because it was thoughtful, intentional, and authentic. And for me, it was proof that success doesn’t have to look like what everyone else is doing.
Choosing Joy, Authenticity, and Alignment
This year, I’m taking what I learned from the Soul Care Box and applying it in a different way. I’m not running sales or creating deals, but I’m still finding ways to connect with my audience. Here’s what I’m focusing on instead:
Celebrating other creators: I want to use this season to highlight the brands and entrepreneurs I love.
Reflection and strategy: I’m using this time to think about what worked, what didn’t, and how I want to show up in 2025.
Authenticity over hustle: Instead of pushing products, I’m prioritizing connection and alignment with my values.
For me, this isn’t about rejecting Black Friday out of self-righteousness—it’s about stepping back to create space for what truly matters. It’s about acknowledging that the system doesn’t always serve me and making choices that feel right for where I am.
To Those Who Feel the Pressure: You’re Not Alone
If you’re an entrepreneur feeling the weight of Black Friday, know this: You’re not a failure if you choose to opt out. You’re not “less than” if you prioritize your mental health or decide to show up in a different way. The pressure to conform is real, but so is the freedom to create your own path.
This year, I’m choosing joy over fear, intention over urgency, and authenticity over performance. And I invite you to do the same—whatever that looks like for you.
What about you?
Are you participating in Black Friday this year, or are you finding your own way to navigate the season?
Am I Avoiding Competition, or Aligning with My Values? The Complexity of Skipping Black Friday
This year, I made the decision to skip Black Friday, a choice that felt deeply aligned with my values. But as I sat with this decision, a question kept resurfacing: Am I truly opting out because it’s the right choice for me, or am I avoiding competition?
It’s a challenging question—one that forced me to take a hard look at myself, my business, and the narratives I’ve internalized about success and failure. If you’ve ever made a decision that felt right but also stirred up doubt, you’re not alone. Here’s how I unpacked this feeling, and what I learned along the way.
The Fear of Judgment: What Will They Think of Me?
Let’s start with the obvious: stepping away from something as massive as Black Friday isn’t easy. In a world that celebrates hustle, competition, and constant visibility, choosing to sit out can feel like swimming against the tide.
Even as I confidently say, “This aligns with my values,” there’s a whisper in the back of my mind:
Will people think I’m not serious about my business?
Does this make me look weak, unambitious, or afraid of failure?
These thoughts come from a place of vulnerability. As entrepreneurs, we’re conditioned to believe that showing up—loudly, boldly, and consistently—is the key to success. Opting out can feel like breaking an unspoken rule, even when it’s a deliberate choice.
The “Prove Yourself” Mentality
Another layer of this doubt comes from the ingrained need to “prove” myself. Black Friday is framed as a stage where entrepreneurs showcase their competitiveness and skill. By stepping back, I couldn’t help but ask:
Am I missing an opportunity to show that I can rise to the challenge?
What does it say about me if I don’t “put my hat in the ring”?
In truth, these questions are tied to the fear of failure. If I were to participate and fall short, what would that say about me? The idea of stepping back, while aligned with my values, feels safer in some ways—and that’s something I had to acknowledge honestly.
The Complexity of Competition
Competition is often framed as a binary: you’re either in it or you’re not. But the reality is more nuanced. By choosing not to participate in Black Friday, I’m not rejecting competition entirely—I’m redefining it.
For me, competition isn’t about who can offer the biggest discounts or drive the most sales during a single weekend. It’s about playing the long game. It’s about creating something sustainable and meaningful, rather than scrambling for a short-term win.
Still, that doesn’t mean the doubts go away. There’s a part of me that wonders if my decision is a way to sidestep the discomfort of failing publicly. Am I truly acting in alignment, or am I just taking the path of least resistance?
Values vs. Ego
This brings me to the heart of the matter: the tension between values and ego. On one hand, my decision to skip Black Friday feels deeply authentic. It aligns with my belief in creating intentional, meaningful work rather than feeding a culture of overconsumption.
On the other hand, my ego isn’t quiet. It asks questions like:
Are you really as aligned as you think, or are you hiding behind your values?
Would you still make this choice if you felt confident you could “win”?
These questions don’t mean my decision is invalid—they mean I’m human. It’s okay to hold conflicting feelings. It’s okay to feel both grounded in your values and challenged by your doubts.
Lessons From the Soul Care Box
Reflecting on my previous Black Friday experiences has helped me navigate these feelings. In 2021, I collaborated with two friends to create the Soul Care Box, a curated product designed to bring comfort during the colder months. It wasn’t about discounts or urgency—it was about meaning.
The process taught me something important: success doesn’t have to look like what everyone else is doing. It can be slower, more thoughtful, and deeply personal. And for me, that’s where my true sense of competitiveness lies—not in following the crowd, but in carving my own path.
Where These Feelings Come From
When I trace these doubts back to their source, a few themes emerge:
Fear of Judgment: The worry that others will see me as “less than” for not participating.
Internalized Competition: The belief that sitting out means forfeiting my chance to prove myself.
Cultural Conditioning: The idea that success is measured by visibility and participation, even when it’s misaligned.
Ego vs. Authenticity: The tension between acting from my values and the fear that I’m using those values as a shield.
Acknowledging these feelings doesn’t make them go away, but it helps me sit with them and separate what’s true from what’s fear-based.
What I’ve Learned
Here’s what I’ve come to understand about my decision:
Stepping back doesn’t mean I’m not competitive. It means I’m competing on my own terms.
Avoiding something because it’s misaligned is not the same as avoiding it out of fear.
Growth happens when we’re willing to question ourselves, even when the answers are uncomfortable.
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